Morning at the hostel. I wake early in the little hobbit hut I am sleeping in and lay with eyes closed listening to the bird voices spiraling up into the cool morning air. I hear village sounds drifting up from down valley...cows and faint voices. Now I start to hear banging doors and the slap of too-big plastic flip flops as the kids start to move around and start their day. I watch the golden light spread across the millet fields and the half-harvested potato patches on the hillsides.

Recently I was cleaning up my office and reading Shanti notes I've made for myself over the years. And reading those notes, I was reminded of our amazing accomplishments. It was as if I awoke from the stupor of all the mundane, day to day details and administrative tasks and regained my awe and wonder at what we have managed to do for our kids year after year after year. Simple things, but not easy things. Basic things, but life-changing.

All my life I have loved to read. It’s been a dream of mine to provide mini-libraries in our Nepal schools and to encourage the children to learn to read for pleasure. Books are not typically in their worldview. Most come from illiterate or almost illiterate families. They are not read to by their parents. In such a cash-poor culture books are a luxury that none can afford…

We started sponsoring Chandan when he was just a small boy whose Father had TB and whose Mother had left the family. At that time, a Nepali friend told me about this poor family from her home village. She told me that Chandan was very bright but had been forced to leave school because his Father could not work. Could Shanti send Chandan to school? Yes, we could…

Dear friends,

Tejendra carried this letter to me from the vice Principal at ShangriLa School and I want to share it with you.. (note: the first three kids he refers to all lost family members in the earthquake. we began sponsorship and put them into boarding so they could feel cared for and can heal)..

"Didi Namaste!

Here we are fine and hope you too. I have sent all the report cards and the letter of the students…

Its been a while since I've had time to settle down and write an update. Working with children is always a bit disorganized ..things come up unexpectedly and need to be dealt with ..that's the challenge and the fun of it. Well, since the earthquake, that has multiplied exponentially. There are needs and details that come up, change and shift daily Thank goodness I am pretty good at multi-tasking!

To give you just a hint, here are some of the things I've been juggling:

We are fortunate that although they need repairs,the schools we work with are still standing. Our sponsored kids along with hundreds of others are returning to the comforting routine of daily classes. They are seeing their school chums and the familiar faces of their teachers. They are back to books and lessons and something to focus on other than the fear of more earthquakes. I'm seeing smiles on the faces of many of the children in photos that Tejendra and the school administrators are sending me. It warms my heart and I start to feel my own constant worry unwind a little bit..

There has been so much loss and sorrow these past weeks after the devastating earthquakes in Nepal that I thought I would share with you a little ray of light. Something uplifting amidst all the destruction. It shows the spirit of Nepal and of our sweet Shanti children. This is the story of a few of our kids who have been helping with relief efforts despite their own fears.

Saatman just finished Class 10. He is from the Dalit or Untouchable caste. He is a very bright boy and gets top grades. He went on a two day volunteer relief mission with neighbors from his village in Chitwan, to help in Gorkha, the epicenter of the first earthquake. It is a devastated area of small villages. He messaged me on facebook about his experience. In his own words: " We set up our journey early in the morning and reached there after seven hours and we walked for two hours (carrying all the food goods), then we started our distribution program. We slept there in tent. Then we stayed there for another day and helped them for shelter (building shelters) and we returned. Really didi, it was my unforgettable movement (moment?). Still I am very happy to help them in such a situation. And what I learned is that even small help can be greater in such situations."

We have been very busy as you can imagine. The second quake was a real game changer. If Nepal was traumatized and chaotic after the first one, it is reeling from the second one and bathed in insecurity.

Everyone continues to live almost exclusively outside. This includes many of our sponsored kids. Since many are preparing for the long haul, through the monsoon, sturdy shelter is vital..plus mosquito nets. We are providing these where needed. We just had a call from the Mom of one of our kids asking for help to buy a tarpaulin.

Many many others have left Kathmandu to go to their respective villages. Will these people return eventually? No one knows.

May 12, 2015 - Early this morning, U.S. time, there was a second major earthquake in Nepal (as you probably know by now). It was a 7.3 or 7.4, followed by many aftershocks, a couple that were pretty strong.

I have talked to Tejendra a couple of times. He is very scared. He was out on his motorbike and very close to a building that, in his words, “fell down in the street”. He is understandably still shaky from such a close call.

Kinley emailed me and said the kids at the hostel are ok as are he, his family and staff at the hostel. There is more damage to the hostel and his house as you can imagine. I don’t know yet about further damages to Pegasus and ShangriLa schools.

I've been up since 6:00 and communicating with Mr. Kinley, the Principal of one of our schools. He is a wonderful human being. As of this morning, staff and our older, sponsored kids from Pegasus hostel (where our kids go to school and live) are organizing food packets that will each feed 4-5 people for 6-8 days. The group will drive out to two villages in Sindhupalchowk which is one of the hardest hit areas and deliver and distribute the food to the 65 families of two villages there which have gotten no relief at all. Shanti is sending the money today to fund this. This is grassroots relief.

First, let me say Thank you for all the love, emails, facebook messages and phone messages I have received over the past week and since I returned home very late Sunday night. I wish I could answer each and every one and connect with all of you personally. Please understand that I am still in overwhelm with fatigue and with trying to stay connected with our contacts in Nepal, which is not easy, given the lack of Internet services and in many places, phone service. But do know that I love you dearly and cherish all your good wishes.

Thank you, too, for your donations. You have been wonderfully generous and we will use your money wisely now and in the months to come. We are trying to make our immediate responses but also know that there will be much work that unfolds over time.

So many dwellings are damaged and the danger from aftershocks is so great that citizens are being advised to continue to stay outside and not drive. Many of these dwellings will never be inhabitable again. What will so many people do for housing? Tejendra’s house, near where we are camped out, has cracks in many walls, interior and exterior. One pillar looks ready to collapse.

Now and then, one of us dons a motorcycle helmet and dashes inside his house to use the squat toilet, being sure to let someone know they are going and to leave the door open to the bathroom (so it won't get jammed shut in a tremor). If a tremor starts, everyone starts screaming to the person inside and he or she comes flying out the front door.

It's the second morning since the earthquake. Anxieties are just beginning to diminish a bit, though there are still aftershocks. They are becoming less frequent but there are no guarantees. Yesterday around 1 pm we had another quake of around 6.8. Enough of a shock for more houses to come down..one not far from the trampled cornfield where we are camped out. It raised a massive dust cloud. Later in the afternoon there was a huge explosion and everyone ran to the edge of the field and looked south where plumes of smoke were rising. Although at the time I thought I understood people to say it was a gas works, I later found out that that smoke was actually from the burning ghats below Swayambhunath. The smoke was still rising around the clock when I left Kathmandu days later.

Dear friends,

I just wanted to let you know I am safe. Due to power outages and no phone service I’ve been unable to contact any of you before now. Please be reassured even though right now I have to be brief...

It's been an incredibly scary experience and it won't really be over until I am on the plane tomorrow morning. The fear runs deep and aftershocks continue. The feeling is of extreme vulnerability and total insecurity.